Do you ever pause, take a look at your life today, and think "what if...."
I don't mean necessarily a regretful 'what-if', it could also be a what-if of relief:
"Phew, what-if I had said yes to that job offer, I would
never have moved to the place I love so much today"
"I remember that boy, the one I snubbed at the age of 15, who was
taking over his family farm ...what if I had married him ....."
"what if I had travelled with that group of student friends, I may have lived in a different country"
"what if I had travelled with that group of student friends, I may have lived in a different country"
I think it must be the influence of all the youngsters we have had around us during the summer. So many of whom are at stages in their lives where decisions have to be taken, directions chosen. Sometimes a monumental choice hangs on such insignificant details: A golden opportunity refused to avoid missing a day with a best friend; a vital exam failed because the wrong stuff was revised;
I know that at the age of 17 my life could have taken a very different direction, and I often wonder what it could have led to. In my final years at high school I had to choose which subjects to specialise in. I was a sort of average student, but did fairly well in the art class. I would have loved to have taken art as a main subject during the last two years, but that meant studying with a specific teacher. I didn't like her that much, and she wasn't wild about me. Because of that bad impression I dropped my favourite subject.
If I had studied art I may not have studied languages
if I hadn't studied languages I may not have travelled so much as a student
If I hadn't travelled I would probably not have fallen in love in France
... hey! I probably wouldn't even be writing this blog! ...
So to my children today, I often say "keep your options open", " try to see the wider picture", "think about the consequences", but of course we all know that hindsight is a notoriously wonderful thing!
I'd love to know if you can pinpoint a decision, even from years back, and look back and say, "ah yes, if things had gone differently that day ......"
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Thoughtful musings! I often have done just wat you have here! But, my goodness Sharon, yor life is really quite the idealic one that we all continuously, vicariously live through you!!! It is a challenging one yet, you have your moments of peaceful dinners taken with family and friends....what could be a more beautiful, contented life?!
ReplyDeleteYet, I know how you feel, as I often have wished I finished my art schooling and where would I be now if idid just that!?!?
I think I've shared that I need something more challenging ang fidung the right fit is the key to success!
May we all be content where we are as e pursue those new possibilities. And, may your children have some fun along the way with their elisions because sn't that's what it's all about?!
Oh dear, lying in bed at 5:39 am typing sideways isn't the best situation is it? I hope you get thr gist of my note! Sorry for all the typos!! B.
DeleteInteresting post and thoughts. I do often think 'what if' as have had many life changing moments. I think the important thing is not to harbour regrets, but to make the most of opportunities and always keep the door slightly ajar for more. x
ReplyDeleteA wonderful and thoughtful post Sharon! I didn't study as hard for my A'Levels in my final year at school as I ought to have done, and ended up delaying entering University by a year to get a better grade in one of my subjects. This meant that I ended up reading my degree at Bristol - a University that I hadn't considered a year earlier, where I subsequently met and fell in love with my (now) husband and we now have three beautiful children. Twenty-three years later, I still thank heaven that I was such a naughty student in my final year at school!!!
ReplyDeleteBest wishes,
Paula xxx
If I hadn't gone to my penfriend's wedding, I wouldn't have met my future (now ex-) husband and would certainly not be living in France.
ReplyDeleteI love to think about things like this...so many what ifs in my life
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me on my childhood when we used to say:
ReplyDelete"Wenn das Wörtchen wenn nicht wär, wär mein Vater Millionär"
'If the little word "if" would not exist my father would be a millionaire' - ha-ha.. :)
In diesem Sinne - have a lovely weekend! k
I have always told my children {who are now adults and still have to listen to the speech} - 'this is your own storybook, the pages are empty and waiting for you to fill them. The book is bound together by our love and respect as a family. I am here if you need encouragement to turn the page to the next chapter, but it is YOUR story'.
ReplyDeleteI always wanted them to know that the 'what if's' are up to them.
I believe that the children of today have so many more opportunities available to them then when I was their age. I always wanted my children to grow up to be independent thinkers. It didn't matter to me if they had a life of prominence or wealth, became President or worked as a laborer only that they worked towards what made them happy. I always reminded them of the importance of showing respect, compassion, empathy and love for everyone who crossed their paths. :)
ReplyDeleteYes, I can pinpoint an exact moment when I went down a path that changed my life completely - now, it is not fair to say that I went down that path with the knowledge that it would lead to consequences that I could not have even envisioned....I do often think about that pivotal moment - perhaps my life would have imploded regardless....but I too tell young people today to get as broad an education as possible because jobs will exist in industries that we cannot even imagine and for young women, their lives will change too in so many ways that what seems clear today will perhaps cloud over....a thought-provoking blog today Sharon!
ReplyDeleteI have thought about this very question "what if?" I think there are three pivotal points in my life that could have changed everything I currently know... Leaving a nursing job to go to design school (a patient that I liked died, that made me think this career wasn't for me... I needed to be creative!). How I met my husband (a fluke weekend trip) and my children's elementary school choice (a quick statement from an acquaintance) I believe that each of these choices changed my world and helped to make me the woman I am today. Thank you Sharon, it is nice to look back, and be able to say- no regrets!
ReplyDeleteFor sure there are "what-if" in each of our lives. I was 17 too when I had a life changing event. That was my age when my family moved from the Philippines to Canada. I was devastated to leave all of my high school friends. I had to start again from scratch to build a new life and meet new friends in University and living here in Toronto.But moving here was also the best time in life, despite the challenges, because now I have my career in Banking, I can travel and have established myself here.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, we really do not know where life will take us. One lesson I learned is to go along the waves,wherever it will take us and have faith that it will be for the best. Great topic. Enjoy the long weekend!
You have no idea how much I think about this, Sharon. What if I'd told that family friend "no" when he offered to buy me a harp - I don't have time to play the harp, I'm not interested in harp music, the piano is enough for me, I have to get my English degree, I'm going to be a big-time reporter in New York, not a harpist.
ReplyDeleteBut I said "yes" to that suggestion, to that gift. In fact, I don't even want to imagine how things could have been different. They certainly couldn't have been better. I know that for sure.
With a new engineering degree & Jimmy Carter president I could not find work.
ReplyDeleteGot a job at a nursery. Got another degree, horticulture.
Thanks to a poor president & economy I have my beloved career !
Zero regrets, though horrible at the time.
Garden & Be Well, XO T
Definitely can pinpoint the moment I decided to go with my heart and chose to follow my love of art and got a fine arts degree vs. a teaching degree while in college. It has taken me to where I am now. Not that taking another route would not have taken me to a different destination! Who can say since we can only travel one path at a time. But I considered it a pleasure to be able to pursue my passion full speed ahead and even though I am not a professional artist right now, that ability to pursue a dream was a real gift.
ReplyDeletewhat a wonderful thought + No regrets + I am exactly where I am suppose to be.Thank you for the reminder, Sharon.xxpeggybraswelldesign.com
ReplyDeleteI was supposed to study at Sorbonne in college and I chickened out because I knew no one going. Oh, to have been there and perhaps my life would have evolved as yours!!!! (I do appreciate where my life has taken me, but I always will wonder what if...)
ReplyDeleteSharon, today is my 39th anniversary. My husband and I have 2 wonderful children and 4 wonderful grandchildren. They are all the light of our lives. We have been enormously blessed. I met my husband at a sorority event 43 years ago. I had very much wanted to be part of a different sorority. What if I had joined my first choice!! I wouldn't have met my
ReplyDeletedarling husband. Thank goodness I decided to go with my "second choice." It led me to my FIRST choice!
Sharon..I am 38 and I've often been through many "what ifs". Some are recurring and painful... what if I stopped in England while an au-pair at 19? what if I had the courage to go to university there instead of getting a language degree here? Where would I be now? what if I hadn't had my first child at 23? I probably would not have children now..what if I hadn't worked in the art fabrics later on, I would not have had my own shop years later. Uhm.. life is all about decisions and as you said, sometimes you make a decision on a wrong impression, on a wrong or not deep enough thought. So I agree with you when you tell your children to keep their options open and to think to the consequences..this is what I'm trying to teach mine too...loved your post, thanks for sharing your thoughts. Much love Lisa (shabbypassion)
ReplyDeleteThanks Sharon for sharing
ReplyDelete